In a quiet moment, into my mind wandered the thought of a bear hug – how nice it feels when arms enfold you with strength, determination, and love. Quietly the image of Bear slipped in. It was a warm and comforting thought, and I thought of Jesus – somehow – as a Bear. Immediately thoughts of Lewis’s admonitions in Letters to Malcolm came to mind – The moment you create an image of God, you must destroy it, for not being complete, it will be wrong. Realizing the danger, I said to myself, If it is alright for me to imagine Jesus as a Bear, then I’m going to need some signs. It had seemed so beautiful… Still. Thoughts that are untested, while beautiful, must not be trusted. Softly, I pushed the thought away, and set it back adrift on that sea that washes thoughts upon our shores. That is what I do with the thoughts I don’t know what to do with, or don’t know if they are right, or good. Cast thy bread upon the waters: for thou shalt find it after many days.
The days went on. Mother’s Day came, and it was a whirl of activity, putting together a dinner for the mothers in our lives. We had decided on a more complicated menu, and dinner was late. But we managed to pull it off together, and we were able to bring our families together and show our appreciation for the beautiful women in our lives. We cleaned up, and tired, I gratefully climbed into bed. Then, a knock came at our door. It was my beautiful daughter, with a little card and a paper sack in hand. The children had forgotten to present me with a card earlier, and she wanted to give it to me before I went to bed. Lights turned on, and I read the precious notes from my children with a swelling heart. I reached into the paper sack, and out came a little white polar bear, with a red muffler. Tears came to my eyes.
The next day – bears in mind – I began to do some research. I was curious to know if there had been any significant bears in mythologies or fairy tales, and my research brought me to a lovely little string of articles on Bears, Myth and Moor, by Terri Windling. It was just what I was looking for, and it had a beautiful collection of information and art, depicting bears, and a girl.
My heart warmed as I read through instances of Bears in mythology from around the world, in her article called Following the Bear. She quotes from Women Who Run With the Wolves, saying,
In Women Who Run With the Wolves, psychologist and storyteller Clarissa Pinkola Estés notes the age-old connection of women and bears in the mythic traditions of many different lands. “To the ancients,” she writes, “bears symbolized resurrection. The creature goes to sleep for a long time, its heartbeat decreases to almost nothing. The male often impregnates the female right before hibernation, but miraculously, egg and sperm do not unite right away. They float separately in her uterine broth until much later. Near the end of hibernation, the egg and sperm unite and cell division begins, so that the cubs will be born in the spring when the mother is awakening, just in time to care for and teach her new offspring. Not only by reason of awakening from hibernation as though from death, but much more so because the she-bear awakens with new young, this creature is a profound metaphor for our lives, for return and increase coming from something that seemed deadened.
Another article, Winter Poetry Challenge: Day 1, said the theme for the day was Bears in Myth, Fairy Tales and Fantasy. At the top of her list of examples, was the white bear in East of the Sun, West of the Moon. That phrase jumped off the page – I had seen that before… Where had I just heard that? I searched through my memory – I must have saved it somewhere (I like to save quotes that are meaningful to me). I looked through my collection, and I found it:
Still round the corner there may wait
A new road or a secret gate
And though I oft have passed them by
A day will come at last when I
Shall take the hidden paths that run
West of the Moon, East of the Sun.
Such a beautiful line, and somehow also poignant. It reminded me of something else I had saved, from a letter of CS Lewis:
“The pleasures of spring have been jawed about so often that I am rather shy of saying anything about the lovely weather that has succeeded to the snow here. Do you know what if feels like when you go out for the first time without an overcoat and feel all the nerves funny up the back of your legs and see the clouds blowing about a really blue sky? At the same I know the spring too well to really like her. She invariably makes you feel lonely & dissatisfied & long for
‘The land where I shall never be
The love that I shall never see.’
You know what I mean?”
~Letter from C.S. Lewis to Arthur Greeves, February 20, 1917
(The actual lines are these,
‘The love whom I shall never meet,
The land where I shall never be’
by Andrew Lang, History of English Literature, p. 579.)
Following the trail, I looked up the fairy tale, East of the Sun, West of the Moon. As it turns out, it is a version of the story of Cupid and Psyche, which Andrew Lang included in his Blue Fairy Book. – Not only does the road go ever on, but round and round as well, it seems. As I was reviewing what had happened, I realized that this was full circle back to where I began my journey for this year; with a new reading of CS Lewis’s Till We Have Faces —which is a Re-telling of the story of Cupid and Phsyche — and the words You also shall be Psyche, ringing in my ears. And as my year comes to a close (my birthday is in July), it seems the road has brought me back again, to visit the thought from a new vantage point.
I was thinking that perhaps an animal creates a natural image of God for us from our particular and current point of view, in that he is such that he cannot communicate clearly with us. So images like a lion (Narnia), or a bear carry a sense of otherness, strangeness, of a gap in communication, and of a being that is very obviously different and other-natured than we are – even dangerous.
Aslan is a lion- the Lion, the great Lion.” “Ooh” said Susan. “I’d thought he was a man. Is he-quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion”…”Safe?” said Mr Beaver …”Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.
Of course, God is higher than we are, and so it is really we who are the animal comparatively speaking, and He who is the full grown “human,” in the fullest sense possible. We are more like the mewling baby that is born into the family full of animal instincts and nature, who must be educated and brought higher up into the Godly nature. But because we are in our story, and not in his, and He remains seemingly silent, large and looming, perhaps the image of an animal fits our current vision of that dynamic somehow. For now. But perhaps one day we shall wake to find that it was really we who were bewitched all along (like Prince Rilian of The Silver Chair), and waking we will see the spell for what it was, and ourselves for the beasts we have really been. Perhaps then we will be grateful to be undragoned, and to let the fur be pulled away, that we may rise, true men and women at last, and find underneath it all a thing we have never yet imagined:
A real Man, an ageless god, a son of God, strong, radiant, wise, beautiful, and drenched in joy.
~ C.S. Lewis, Man or Rabbit
I went outside, bears still in mind, for a swim, and looked up into the starry sky to find the Big Dipper. And there was Ursa Major, stars arching over my house. The bears have it, as far as I’m concerned. Or Bear just has me.
(If you’re a bear, I’m a bear.)